To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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