I can text with my tongue
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know her cup size but not her name....
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