i just google imaged poop.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
