i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
