Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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