I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
