You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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