Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize