Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

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  (215): Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT. http://tfl.nu/2ngi
  Replies (14) Good night (2103) Bad night (697)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5590) Bad night (1413)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?

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  (862): so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lcjy
  Replies (10) Good night (834) Bad night (3296)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1393) Bad night (4438)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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  (609): My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count. http://tfl.nu/d5s2
  Replies (14) Good night (5190) Bad night (1617)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.

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  (409): Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me. http://tfl.nu/r0oo
  Replies (34) Good night (9470) Bad night (2547)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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  (925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (2360)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

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  (386): And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur http://tfl.nu/llqd
  Replies (8) Good night (5360) Bad night (1531)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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  (540): Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place. http://tfl.nu/p2sn
  Replies (4) Good night (1810) Bad night (797)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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  (813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph
  Replies (18) Good night (739) Bad night (1639)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

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  (252): she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN" http://tfl.nu/vt0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (763)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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  (503): The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/iw9s
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (469)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i bang your brother are we still cool?

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  (412): if i bang your brother are we still cool? http://tfl.nu/9e2i
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (393)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......

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  (757): Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer....... http://tfl.nu/j7h7
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (489)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

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  (301): I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening http://tfl.nu/y28c
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (482)

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