I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.