wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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