I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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