Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...