Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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  (210): It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently http://tfl.nu/9vg5
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  (949): View more from California

  i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.

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  (949): i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing. http://tfl.nu/t71r
  Replies (61) Good night (714) Bad night (3111) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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  (814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374
  Replies (12) Good night (6511) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (587) Bad night (6063) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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  (760): Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate. http://tfl.nu/nm6j
  Replies (16) Good night (4415) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.

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  (404): Just made gatorade. in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/v6f3
  Replies (19) Good night (3244) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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  (410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr
  Replies (17) Good night (1155) Bad night (5603) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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  (949): Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk? http://tfl.nu/zd5j
  Replies (5) Good night (3235) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

  (1+44): View more from

  I regret nothing

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  (+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi
  Replies (3) Good night (2683) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.

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  (906): 3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on. http://tfl.nu/uzvi
  Replies (3) Good night (1321) Bad night (502)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,

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  (403): Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20, http://tfl.nu/h2dw
  Replies (9) Good night (1515) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.

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  (907): Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig. http://tfl.nu/jc5y
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (802)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?

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  (856): I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police? http://tfl.nu/pr1m
  Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You have to summon your inner elephant

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  (206): You have to summon your inner elephant http://tfl.nu/wpzr
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.

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  (416): Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd. http://tfl.nu/inv3
  Replies (8) Good night (480) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt

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