Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.

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  (617): it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together. http://tfl.nu/iel6
  Replies (42) Good night (773) Bad night (3453)
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  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14678) Bad night (2098)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1258) Bad night (4194)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

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  (516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt
  Replies (13) Good night (831) Bad night (4133)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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  (908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54
  Replies (6) Good night (3002) Bad night (653)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He had a curved dick....must be a european thing

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  (401): He had a curved dick....must be a european thing http://tfl.nu/mrr2
  Replies (19) Good night (1271) Bad night (2368)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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  (406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (1856) Bad night (818)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.

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  (251): Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on. http://tfl.nu/zy8a
  Replies (53) Good night (904) Bad night (3010)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (545)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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  (850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq
  Replies (6) Good night (1381) Bad night (519)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

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  (330): Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that? http://tfl.nu/r624
  Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (637)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..

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  (727): There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you.. http://tfl.nu/y77w
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (568)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.

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  (706): Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one? (1-706): You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome. http://tfl.nu/97og
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (357)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

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  (973): i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls. http://tfl.nu/jxeo
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (256)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him

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  (402): I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him http://tfl.nu/5l9m
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (215)

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