they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
