you guys were way drunker than both of me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Pants are for mortals
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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