You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He passed out mid-signature
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
