Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
