You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
