who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
