Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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