He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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