My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
