the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm at about main and main street
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
