I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
