I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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