dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry