I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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