Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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