so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
