the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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