yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
