well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
