On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
