I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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