More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
