he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
