Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
