dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
