you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
