OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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