Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
