I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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