so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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