bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
