We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
