is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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