I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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