We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
