he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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