I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
