It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
