Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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