You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
