whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
