My brain says no but my pants say off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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