She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
