So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
