wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
