I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
