I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
