I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
