no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
