So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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