I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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